Abuse Counseling in Kirkland, WA
ABUSE
What is abuse? Abuse is the mistreatment to harm and/or control another person. Abuse of all types causes pain, harm, and confusion. Abusers rarely (if ever) stop their abusive behaviors on their own. Being in an abusive relationship/environment is designed to have the victim feel crazy and to doubt their own perceptions, thoughts and recall of the harmful events.
Spiritual Abuse: Spiritually abusive environments and situations are a perversion of truth. People are bound and kept under control. There is a message of distrust for anyone on the outside. There is zero tolerance of questioning those in authority, and in most cases questioning authority results in ex-communication and is seen as sin and a betrayal.
Sexual Abuse: Sexual abuse is any type of non-consensual sexual contact or interaction (visual, verbal, or psychological) violence: assault, rape, unwanted sexual touch and stimulation, intimate partner violence. There is often a power differential in sexual abuse harms (child/adolescent; adult/child; adult/adolescent; adult/adult; boss/subordinate; etc..).
Survivors of sexual abuse feel an array of emotions and feelings. Shame, fear, confusion, guilt, responsibility are a few of the emotions and feelings commonly experienced. You are not responsible for the harm done to you.
Physical Abuse: A pattern of coercive control that may be primarily made up of psychological abuse, sexual coercion, or economic abuse, that is punctuated by one or more acts of frightening physical violence, credible threat of physical harm, or sexual assault.—Lundy Bancroft
Physical abuse is terrifying in part because the perpetrator is in complete control of the terror that they are causing. Physical abuse in a relationship is designed to keep you in the relationship out of fear. Threatening physical violence is also abuse. There is NOTHING you could do to cause physical violence.
Verbal & Emotional Abuse: There are many names for emotional abuse: verbal abuse, psychological abuse, etc.. Verbal abuse creates emotional pain and mental anguish. It is a lie told to you or about you. Emotional abuse is harm that does not leave a physical scar but the impact is often more damaging. Many emotional abusers are charismatic and are a generally liked and well received person to those outside of the relationship. The abuser may be funny, outgoing, considerate and generous in public, but privately is cruel, hateful, mean and harmful.
Generally, verbal abuse defines people, telling them what they are, what they think, their motives, and so forth. –Patricia Evans
How does therapy for abuse victims help?
Healing from abuse requires that you do not walk alone. You were harmed in relationship, healing will come through relationship. The first step towards restoration and life is naming your stories.
“You cannot change what you will not name.”—Dan Allender PhD
The process of healing from abuse is also a process of restoring kindness towards yourself.
By bravely naming your story and sharing your experiences with a trusted counselor the process to restoring healthy attachments, primarily to yourself and then with others.
Having someone who is caring and attuned to your story and also provides containment and kindness is the roadmap to healing.