Impacts of Mindfulness Practices on Stress

In an increasingly fast-paced and demanding world, stress has become a near-constant presence in daily life. Yet not everyone responds to stress in the same way. Some individuals are able to remain grounded and clear-headed even in the face of adversity; an ability known as stress resilience. At the heart of building this resilience lies mindfulness practice, a well-researched method for enhancing emotional balance and physiological regulation. Yoga therapy offers a unique and powerful avenue for cultivating mindfulness. By integrating body-based awareness, breath regulation, and meditative techniques, yoga therapy fosters a deep connection between mind and body, making it an especially effective approach for strengthening key markers of stress resilience. Through its emphasis on breath, movement, and conscious awareness, yoga therapy helps individuals build the internal resources needed to regulate their nervous system, manage emotions, and increase self-efficacy. 

What is mindfulness practice 

Mindfulness practice is the intentional act of bringing your full attention to the present moment, without judgment. It involves observing your thoughts, emotions, bodily sensations, and surroundings with openness and curiosity. Rather than reacting automatically to experiences, mindfulness encourages a calm awareness of what is happening right now. This can be cultivated through meditation, breathing exercises, or simply paying gentle attention to daily activities like eating, walking, or listening. 

At its core, mindfulness is about learning to respond rather than react. It helps create space between stimulus and response, allowing for greater emotional regulation and clarity. By consistently practicing mindfulness, individuals can develop a stronger sense of inner calm, reduce stress, and increase resilience. Over time, it becomes easier to recognize unhelpful thought patterns and choose more supportive ways of thinking and behaving. 

Mindfulness practice is accessible to everyone. You don’t need special equipment or hours of free time; even a few minutes a day can make a meaningful difference. Whether practiced through formal meditation or informal daily awareness, mindfulness offers a pathway to greater mental clarity, emotional balance, and overall well being. 

What are markers of stress resilience 

Stress resilience is the ability to effectively adapt and recover in the face of adversity, pressure, or prolonged challenges. Rather than avoiding stress altogether, resilient individuals are able to engage with stressors without becoming overwhelmed, maintaining emotional balance, cognitive clarity, and physical health. Research has identified several key indicators that support

and reflect this capacity, including heart rate variability, emotional regulation, functional breathing patterns, adaptive nervous system functioning, and self-efficacy. Together, these markers highlight the interconnected roles of the body and mind in fostering resilience to stress. 

Heart Rate Variability (HRV) 

Heart rate variability refers to the variation in time between heartbeats and is a key indicator of autonomic nervous system balance. Higher HRV reflects greater parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) activity and is associated with a flexible, adaptive response to stress. Individuals with high HRV tend to recover more quickly from stress and demonstrate better emotional regulation, making HRV a strong physiological marker of stress resilience. 

Emotional Regulation 

Emotional regulation is the ability to monitor, evaluate, and modify emotional responses in adaptive ways. People who can regulate their emotions are better equipped to manage stressors without becoming overwhelmed. Effective emotional regulation reduces physiological arousal and supports long-term resilience by preventing chronic stress accumulation. 

Functional Breathing Patterns 

Functional breathing patterns, characterized by nasal, diaphragmatic, and slow breathing, support physiological calm and help maintain balance in the nervous system. Dysfunctional breathing (e.g., shallow, rapid, or chest-dominant breathing) can activate the stress response unnecessarily. In contrast, functional breathing supports stress resilience by enhancing oxygen efficiency, promoting relaxation, and increasing heart rate variability. 

Adaptive Nervous System Functioning 

Adaptive nervous system functioning refers to the ability of the autonomic nervous system to shift appropriately between sympathetic (fight-or-flight) and parasympathetic (rest-and-digest) states. A well-regulated nervous system enables quick activation during stress and efficient recovery afterward. This flexibility is central to stress resilience, allowing individuals to respond to challenges without becoming stuck in chronic states of hyperarousal or shutdown. 

Self-Efficacy 

Self-efficacy is the belief in one’s capacity to effectively manage challenges. High self-efficacy increases motivation, persistence, and the use of adaptive coping strategies in the face of stress. It fosters a proactive rather than reactive mindset and allows for a sense of agency to flourish. 

Mindfulness practices and stress resilience 

Mindfulness practices have been shown to positively influence multiple dimensions of stress resilience by supporting both physiological regulation and psychological flexibility. Here’s how mindfulness impacts each of the aforementioned markers of stress resilience:

Heart Rate Variability (HRV) 

Mindfulness practices (particularly those involving breath awareness and body scanning taught in yoga therapy or nervous system regulation sessions here at Thrive) can increase heart rate variability by activating the parasympathetic nervous system. This increased HRV reflects a more balanced autonomic nervous system and greater capacity to respond adaptively to stress, both hallmarks of resilience. 

Emotional Regulation 

Regular mindfulness practice strengthens emotional regulation by increasing awareness of thoughts and feelings without automatic reactivity. Through nonjudgmental attention to internal experiences, individuals develop the capacity to pause, reflect, and choose more adaptive responses. This reduces emotional volatility and helps buffer against the negative effects of stress. 

Functional Breathing Patterns 

Mindfulness, especially when combined with breath-focused meditation such as those taught by yoga therapists, encourages slower, deeper, and more diaphragmatic breathing. Over time, this retrains the body toward more functional breathing patterns, which helps reduce anxiety, lower stress hormones, and prevent hyperventilation-related symptoms. 

Adaptive Nervous System Functioning 

Mindfulness enhances adaptive nervous system functioning by facilitating a healthy balance between sympathetic arousal and parasympathetic recovery. Mindfulness also improves interoceptive awareness (the ability to sense internal bodily states) which supports nervous system flexibility and helps individuals detect and respond to stress signals more effectively. 

Self-Efficacy 

Mindfulness supports self-efficacy by fostering greater self-awareness and self-trust. As individuals become more attuned to their mental and emotional patterns, they gain confidence in their ability to respond skillfully to challenges. This sense of agency enhances motivation and strengthens belief in one’s capacity to cope, adapt, and grow from stress. 

Stress resilience is not simply the absence of stress, but the presence of internal strategies that allow us to adapt and recover with strength and flexibility. Mindfulness practices play a vital role in cultivating this resilience, and when delivered through the holistic framework of yoga therapy, their impact can be especially profound. Yoga therapy offers practical tools such as breath training, mindful movement, and meditative reflection that enhance heart rate variability, emotional regulation, and nervous system adaptability. Yoga therapy also empowers individuals with greater self-awareness and belief in their own capacity to navigate stress. In this way, yoga therapy becomes more than a wellness routine; it is a comprehensive and therapeutic pathway for cultivating long-term stress resilience using mindfulness based interventions.

If you would like to increase your resiliency to stress and live into a more balanced rhythm of life, book a session with Sabrina Joy, our Nervous System Regulation Practitioner today.

The benefits of mental health coaching.

I wanted to share some thoughts on the benefits of mental health coaching. In today's fast-paced world, it's easy for our mental well-being to be overlooked. While therapy plays a vital role in addressing clinical mental health issues, mental health coaching offers a proactive approach for individuals seeking greater clarity, balance, and resilience in their daily lives.

You might be wondering, what exactly is mental health coaching and why is it becoming so popular? It essentially bridges the gap between traditional therapy and life coaching. Unlike therapy, which often delves into past experiences, coaching typically focuses on the future. It's about helping people define their goals, overcome mental obstacles, and develop strategies for emotional and psychological wellness.

Mental health coaches collaborate with clients to enhance self-awareness, strengthen coping mechanisms, and cultivate a more positive outlook. The aim is not just to improve how you feel, but to help you truly flourish. Here are some key benefits:

Clarity and Goal-Setting:

Coaches assist you in identifying your true desires, whether it's increased confidence, reduced stress, improved relationships, or better work-life balance. Through attentive listening and insightful questions, they guide you in discovering your core values, strengths, and aspirations. Setting clear, achievable goals often brings a renewed sense of purpose and direction.

Accountability and Motivation:

A significant advantage of coaching is the built-in accountability. While setting intentions is easy, following through can be challenging. A mental health coach provides consistent support, encouragement, and gentle guidance to keep you aligned with your objectives, helping to maintain motivation and momentum.

Improved Self-Awareness: 

Coaching encourages deep self-reflection. Through thoughtful discussions, clients begin to recognize unhelpful thought patterns, emotional triggers, and limiting beliefs. This increased self-awareness is fundamental for lasting personal growth. By understanding themselves better, clients can make more informed decisions and respond to challenges with greater emotional intelligence.

Stress Management and Resilience: 

Mental health coaching equips individuals with practical tools for managing stress more effectively. From mindfulness and breathing exercises to reframing negative thoughts, coaches teach techniques that enhance emotional regulation and overall resilience. Over time, these practices can become integral to daily routines, leading to reduced anxiety and improved mental stamina.

Confidence and Empowerment:

As clients experience progress and overcome hurdles, their confidence naturally grows. Coaches acknowledge and celebrate both significant and minor achievements, helping clients recognize their own development. This sense of empowerment often positively influences other aspects of life, such as work, relationships, health, and creativity.

Non-Clinical, Accessible Support: 

For those who may not require clinical therapy but still desire mental and emotional support, coaching offers a less formal and often more accessible alternative. It can be particularly beneficial for individuals navigating transitions like career changes, relationship shifts, or personal growth journeys.

Who can truly benefit from mental health coaching? It's ideal for anyone who:

*   Feels stuck or uncertain about their future.
*   Wants to enhance their emotional well-being.
*   Struggles with stress, self-doubt, or low motivation.
*   Seeks a structured approach to personal development.
*   Is looking for support but not necessarily clinical therapy.

While mental health coaching is not a substitute for therapy, it serves as a valuable complement or a standalone resource for those committed to cultivating mental wellness in a structured and goal-oriented manner. By focusing on growth, self-awareness, and actionable steps, mental health coaching empowers individuals to take charge of their lives and thrive with greater confidence and clarity.

If you're navigating a life change, unwelcome anxiety, a persistent state of sadness or simply want to enhance your emotional well-being, mental health coaching could be the supportive partnership you've been seeking.

Ready to explore the possibilities? Consider connecting with Coach Matthew a creative and knowledgeable, mental health coach to embark on your journey towards a stronger and more centered self.

I am now booking appointments for individuals and couples who want to engage in a mental health recovery journey through coaching. I also specialize in ADHD and bipolar disorder.

Would ADHD and/or Bipolar Coaching Help Me?

Living with ADHD or Bipolar Disorder comes with unique challenges—but also unique strengths. With the right support, individuals can learn to manage their symptoms, build on their natural talents, and live fulfilling, purpose-driven lives. One powerful tool in this process is specialized coaching. ADHD and Bipolar coaching is a collaborative, goal-oriented partnership that helps individuals build structure, regulate emotions, and tap into their strengths. While therapy often focuses on healing past trauma and managing mental health symptoms, coaching looks forward—helping clients make tangible progress in their everyday lives.

To utlize the benefits of coaching you do not have to have both ADHD and Bipolar. You may have one or both. Coaching is immensely beneficial to providing a helpful roadmap to help you get where you would like to be in your life.

Structure and Accountability

Both ADHD and Bipolar disorder can affect a person’s ability to manage time, stay organized, and follow through on plans. ADHD may lead to chronic procrastination, missed deadlines, or impulsive decision-making. Bipolar disorder can cause energy fluctuations, making it hard to maintain consistency, especially during depressive or manic episodes.

A coach that understands the specific presentations of how both ADHD and Bipolar presents is an invaluable tool. Coaching provides consistent check-ins, helping clients set realistic goals and helps break those goals into manageable steps. This structure fosters momentum and gives the client someone to stay accountable to—not out of pressure, but encouragement. Many clients find that this regular rhythm helps them build routines that previously felt out of reach. This has a cumulative effect of reaching more and more goals in their life.

Strength-Based Approach

One of the most empowering aspects of ADHD and Bipolar coaching is the focus on strengths. Where therapy might concentrate on symptoms and dysfunction, coaching often asks: What’s already working? What are your natural gifts? People with ADHD often excel in creative thinking, problem-solving, and high-energy work when they’re engaged. Those with bipolar disorder may have deep emotional insight, periods of intense productivity, and unique perspectives.

Coaching helps individuals identify these strengths and learn to apply them intentionally, rather than by accident. Instead of seeing themselves as broken or flawed, clients begin to recognize their unique wiring as a source of potential.

Emotional Regulation and Resilience

While coaches don’t offer therapy, they do support emotional regulation—especially around goals and everyday challenges. For people with ADHD, emotions like frustration, overwhelm, and shame can quickly derail progress. People with Bipolar Disorder may struggle with mood swings that make self-management difficult.

Coaches use tools such as mindfulness, re-framing, and behavior tracking to help clients notice patterns in their emotional responses. Over time, clients develop the self-awareness and coping strategies needed to stay on track—even when life gets tough.

Improved Self-Esteem and Confidence

Many individuals with ADHD and bipolar disorder have faced years of negative feedback, internalized stigma, or feelings of failure. This often results in low self-esteem and a tendency to self-sabotage. A good coach helps challenge these beliefs by celebrating small wins and reinforcing progress.

Through this supportive relationship, clients begin to rebuild their self-trust. As they gain confidence in their ability to follow through on commitments and manage their symptoms, they feel more empowered to pursue their goals—whether that’s advancing a career, improving relationships, or achieving personal growth.

Custom Tools for Real-Life Challenges

Coaching is practical. It’s not just about insight—it’s about action. A coach helps clients develop personalized systems to manage their daily life, from scheduling and planning to sleep habits and communication skills. For someone with ADHD, that might mean experimenting with visual reminders or time-blocking. For someone with Bipolar Disorder, it could involve creating a wellness plan that includes early warning signs and strategies for preventing relapse. These tools are tailored to the individual, not one-size-fits-all. That makes them far more effective than generic advice, and easier to stick with over time.

In a world that often misunderstands or underestimates neurodivergent individuals, ADHD and Bipolar coaching offers something rare: a partnership rooted in possibility, strength, and forward momentum. With the right support, people living with these conditions can move beyond just coping—and begin to thrive.

If you would like to meet with someone to help develop a personalized roadmap for you. We are available to help.

Becoming Reoriented in Every Stage of Life

When You Feel Lost

In therapy we see people who often have a hard time naming that they feel lost. Being lost is uncomfortable, confusing, and may feel scary. This feeling impacts people in their early twenties all the way through to their seventies. Despite different circumstances and life stages, the experience of disorientation, of not knowing what comes next or who you are anymore, is remarkably universal.

The truth is, we all go through seasons where our identity, purpose, or direction feels uncertain. And often, those seasons are bookended by transition beginnings, endings, and all the messy in-betweens. Let’s talk about what this can look like at some of the most common turning points in life.

Graduating College: The Pressure to “Figure It All Out”

Graduation is supposed to be a celebration. And it often is. But underneath the caps, gowns, final papers, family drama, and filtered photos it can be a quiet panic:

  • “What now?”

  • “Did I choose the right path?”

  • “Everyone else seems to have a plan and I don’t”

  • “Shouldn’t I have a big corporate job lined up?”

This stage is full of contradictions: freedom and fear, excitement and grief. The structure that is reading, homework, tests, papers, and projects that guided you for the past 18 years suddenly disappears. For many, their identity was tied to being a student, and now you're asked to build a life without a clear syllabus.

If you feel lost here, it doesn’t mean you’re failing, it means you’re human. You’re in the space between what was and what will be. Give yourself time to breathe and explore the new unknown. 

Quarter-Life and Early Adulthood: Endless Options, No Map

In your twenties and early thirties, it can feel like everyone is on a different timeline. Some are getting married, others are changing careers, and some seem to be traveling the world while you’re just trying to pay rent.

The sense of being lost often stems from comparison and a culture that equates speed with success. People often say that “comparison is the thief of joy” which is true but in this day and age social media has made it hard to avoid seeing other peoples’ highlight reels and wishing yours was the same.  

At this stage therapists focus on value alignment over external achievement. Asking the big questions like: 

  • Who are you, really? 

  • What do you care about when no one is watching? 

  • And are you content with yourself when you go to sleep at night?

Feeling solid about who we are as humans can give us the direction we need to move forward. We feel more secure in a path when we know it is one we want for ourselves and not because someone else is on it too. 

Empty Nesting: Who Am I Now?

Parents often spend years pouring their energy into raising children. Then, one day, the house is quieter, the calendar emptier, and you start thinking about adopting a pet to fill the void. Empty nesting can bring up grief over a chapter ending, joy and guilt mixed together, and/or sense of invisibility or purposelessness. 

Many parents may admit they don’t know what they enjoy anymore or who they are outside their caregiving role. They may struggle within their relationships and not know how to spend 1:1 time with their partners. This moment, while tender, is also a profound opportunity for reconnection to self. 

Ask yourself: 

  • What parts of you have been waiting in the wings? 

  • What dreams did you shelve that you can now revisit?

  • What do you want this next chapter to look like?

Retirement: Losing a Role, Finding a Self

Retirement can be both a relief and a reckoning. Similar to graduating college, after years of structure, routine, and identity tied to work, stepping away can feel like losing part of yourself.

You might think:

  • “I thought I’d be happier.”

  • “I don’t know what to do with my time.”

  • “Who am I without my job?”

This transition challenges our productivity-driven worth. It invites us to redefine purpose not as something we earn, but something we live into. It’s also a time where people reconnect with creativity, service, community, or long-neglected passions.

The discomfort of not knowing what comes next is real. But it also means you're standing at the edge of something new.

Re-direction 

Every life stage holds its own version of being lost. But feeling lost isn’t a problem to fix it’s a signal. A call to pause, reflect, and realign. It’s where transformation begins. In therapy, I often say: It’s okay not to have the answers right now. You’re allowed to be in the in-between. You’re allowed to be uncertain. That space isn’t empty, its full of possibility. So if you’re feeling lost, take heart. You’re not alone. You're not off track. You might just be on the edge of becoming more you than ever before.

Summer Triggers: Why Trauma Symptoms Can Worsen in 'Happy' Seasons

Summer is supposed to be the season of joy, relaxation, and carefree moments. Social media fills with beach photos, family barbecues, and vacation adventures. Everyone seems happier, more energetic, and ready to embrace life. But for trauma survivors, this cultural expectation of summer happiness can create an additional layer of distress that many don't understand—and few talk about openly.

If you find yourself struggling more during summer months despite the longer days and warmer weather, you're not alone. There are real, understandable reasons why trauma symptoms can actually intensify during what society labels as the "happiest" time of year.

The Pressure to Perform Happiness

Summer brings enormous social pressure to be joyful, active, and grateful for the beautiful weather. When you're managing trauma symptoms like hypervigilance, emotional numbness, or depression, this external expectation can feel overwhelming and invalidating. The constant message that you "should" be happy because it's sunny outside can make you feel broken or defective when your internal experience doesn't match.

This pressure creates a secondary trauma response—not only are you dealing with your original trauma symptoms, but now you're also battling shame and self-criticism for not being able to access the joy that seems to come so easily to everyone else. The effort required to mask your true feelings or force participation in summer activities can be emotionally exhausting.

Increased Social Exposure and Overwhelm

Summer naturally involves more social gatherings, family reunions, and community events. For trauma survivors, especially those dealing with complex PTSD or childhood trauma, these social situations can trigger fight-or-flight responses. Large groups, unpredictable social dynamics, and the pressure to be "on" for extended periods can overwhelm an already sensitive nervous system.

Family gatherings can be particularly challenging, as they may involve seeing people connected to your trauma or returning to environments where traumatic events occurred. Even when current family members are supportive, being around relatives can trigger body memories, flashbacks, or intense emotional responses that feel confusing and uncontrollable.

Disrupted Routines and Safety Structures

Many trauma survivors rely heavily on consistent routines and predictable environments to maintain emotional stability. Summer's casual approach to schedules—irregular sleep patterns due to longer daylight, vacation disruptions, children being home from school—can destabilize carefully constructed coping mechanisms.

When your usual therapist takes vacation, your gym changes hours, or your daily structure shifts dramatically, the loss of these anchoring activities can leave you feeling unmoored and vulnerable. What feels like freedom to others can feel like chaos to someone whose nervous system requires predictability to feel safe.

Sensory Overwhelm and Body Triggers

Summer brings intense sensory experiences that can trigger trauma responses: bright sunlight, loud outdoor gatherings, the feeling of sun on skin, or specific scents like sunscreen or barbecue smoke. For those with trauma histories, these sensory inputs can unconsciously connect to traumatic memories, creating anxiety or panic responses that seem to come out of nowhere.

Additionally, summer's emphasis on body exposure—swimwear, shorts, tank tops—can be particularly challenging for survivors of physical or sexual trauma. The cultural celebration of "beach bodies" and increased focus on physical appearance can trigger body shame, dissociation, or memories of times when your body didn't feel safe or belonged to you.

Childhood Trauma and Summer Associations

If your trauma occurred during childhood summers—whether through abuse, neglect, family dysfunction, or other adverse experiences—the season itself can become a trigger. The sights, sounds, and social dynamics of summer can unconsciously transport you back to times when you were vulnerable and unprotected.

Even positive childhood summer memories can be triggering if they're contrasted with current struggles, creating grief for innocence lost or highlighting the gap between who you were and who trauma shaped you to become.

The Isolation of Invisible Struggle

Perhaps most challenging is the isolation that comes with struggling during a season when everyone expects happiness. When you're having a panic attack at a July 4th barbecue or feeling suicidal thoughts during a "perfect" beach day, it can feel like you're the only person in the world who can't access joy when it's "supposed" to be easiest.

This isolation is compounded by well-meaning friends and family members who may suggest that sunshine and fresh air should cure your depression, or who express confusion about why you're "choosing" to be negative during such a beautiful time of year.

Finding Support During Summer Struggles

Understanding that summer trauma responses are normal and valid is the first step toward healing. Your nervous system's reactions to seasonal triggers aren't a choice or a personal failing—they're protective responses developed through difficult experiences.

Working with a trauma-informed therapist during summer months can be particularly valuable. Therapy can help process the underlying traumatic memories that summer experiences may be triggering. Therapy can also provide tools for managing social overwhelm, setting boundaries around summer activities, and developing coping strategies for sensory triggers.

You don't have to suffer through summer or force yourself to participate in activities that feel unsafe. It's okay to modify traditions, leave gatherings early, or create entirely new summer experiences that honor where you are in your healing journey.

Remember that healing isn't linear, and struggling during "happy" seasons doesn't mean you're not making progress. Sometimes the contrast of external expectations with internal experience can actually provide valuable information about what you need to feel safe and supported.

Summer can eventually become a season of genuine joy and peace—but that journey happens on your timeline, not society's calendar. With proper support and trauma-informed care, you can develop tools to navigate summer triggers while working toward a future where longer days truly do bring lighter feelings.

If you're struggling with trauma symptoms that seem to worsen during summer months, you don't have to face this alone. Our trauma-specialized therapists understand the unique challenges that seasonal triggers can present and are here to support you.

What is the Point of Premarital Therapy?

Why Premarital Counseling is the Best Investment in Your Future Marriage

Planning a wedding involves countless decisions—choosing venues, selecting flowers, tasting cakes, and coordinating guest lists. Couples spend months or even years perfecting every detail of their special day. Yet while most couples invest significant time and money into planning a single day, far fewer invest in preparing for the decades of marriage that follow. Premarital counseling offers one of the most valuable investments you can make in your relationship's future, providing tools and insights that can strengthen your bond for years to come.

Despite its proven benefits, premarital counseling is often overlooked or dismissed as unnecessary by couples who feel confident in their relationship. However, the strongest relationships aren't those without challenges—they're those equipped with the skills to navigate challenges together effectively.

Building Communication Skills Before You Need Them

Every couple believes they communicate well during the honeymoon phase of their relationship. However, marriage brings unique stressors that can strain even the strongest communication patterns. Financial pressures, career changes, family dynamics, and the daily realities of sharing a life together can reveal communication gaps that weren't apparent during dating.

Premarital counseling provides a safe space to practice difficult conversations before they become urgent. You'll learn how to discuss sensitive topics like money, intimacy, career goals, and family planning when emotions aren't running high. These skills become invaluable when real conflicts arise, helping you address issues constructively rather than falling into destructive patterns like stonewalling, criticism, or defensiveness.

Many couples discover that they have different communication styles or conflict resolution approaches. Understanding these differences early allows you to develop strategies that honor both partners' needs and prevent misunderstandings from escalating into relationship-threatening arguments.

Uncovering and Aligning Expectations

One of the most common sources of marital conflict stems from unspoken or mismatched expectations. Partners often assume they share the same vision for married life without ever explicitly discussing their assumptions. Premarital counseling helps couples uncover these hidden expectations and work through any significant differences before they become sources of disappointment or resentment.

These conversations might reveal differences in expectations about household responsibilities, career priorities, financial management, social life, intimacy, or future family planning. While discovering differences can initially feel concerning, addressing them proactively allows couples to negotiate compromises and create shared visions for their future together.

For example, one partner might expect to maintain the same social life they had while single, while the other envisions spending most evenings at home together. Neither expectation is wrong, but without discussion, these different visions could lead to conflict and feelings of rejection or suffocation.

Understanding Family History and Patterns

We all bring our family-of-origin experiences into our romantic relationships, often unconsciously. Premarital counseling helps couples explore how their upbringing influences their relationship expectations, communication styles, and approaches to conflict resolution.

Understanding these patterns helps couples recognize when they might be reacting to their partner through the lens of past family experiences rather than responding to the current situation. This awareness prevents many unnecessary conflicts and helps couples create new, healthier patterns that serve their unique relationship.

For those who experienced trauma, dysfunction, or unhealthy relationship models in their families, premarital counseling provides an opportunity to identify and address these influences before they impact the marriage. You can learn to recognize triggers, develop coping strategies, and create the kind of relationship you want rather than unconsciously repeating problematic patterns.

Financial Planning and Money Management

Money is one of the leading causes of divorce, yet many couples never have thorough conversations about their financial values, goals, and management styles before marriage. Premarital counseling provides a structured environment to discuss these crucial topics openly and honestly.

You'll explore attitudes toward spending and saving, debt management, financial goals, and how you'll handle major financial decisions as a team. These conversations help prevent many of the financial conflicts that can strain marriages, particularly during times of economic stress or major life transitions.

Understanding each other's relationship with money also helps couples develop systems that honor both partners' values and concerns, creating a foundation for financial teamwork rather than financial conflict throughout the marriage.

Strengthening Intimacy and Connection

Premarital counseling isn't just about preventing problems—it's also about enhancing the positive aspects of your relationship. Many couples discover new ways to deepen their emotional and physical intimacy through counseling conversations.

You'll explore love languages, discuss needs and desires openly, and learn techniques for maintaining connection through the various seasons of married life. This foundation of emotional intimacy becomes particularly important during stressful periods when couples might otherwise drift apart.

Developing Conflict Resolution Skills

All healthy relationships involve conflict—the difference between successful and unsuccessful couples isn't the absence of disagreement, but the ability to work through disagreements constructively. Premarital counseling teaches specific conflict resolution skills that can transform how you handle inevitable disagreements.

You'll learn techniques for fighting fairly, de-escalating heated conversations, finding win-win solutions, and repairing connection after conflicts occur. These skills prevent small disagreements from becoming relationship-threatening arguments and help couples maintain respect and affection even during difficult conversations.

Creating Shared Meaning and Purpose

Strong marriages are built on more than just love—they're built on shared meaning, values, and purpose. Premarital counseling helps couples explore their individual values and create a shared vision for their life together.

These conversations might cover spiritual beliefs, career goals, lifestyle preferences, family planning, and how you want to contribute to your community. When couples share a sense of purpose and meaning, they're better equipped to support each other through life's challenges and celebrate successes together.

Preventing Problems Rather Than Fixing Them

Perhaps most importantly, premarital counseling takes a preventive approach to relationship health. Rather than waiting until problems develop and seeking couples therapy to fix issues, premarital counseling helps couples build strong foundations from the beginning.

Research consistently shows that couples who participate in premarital counseling report higher relationship satisfaction and lower divorce rates. The investment of time and energy before marriage pays dividends throughout the relationship, helping couples navigate challenges with confidence and maintain connection during difficult periods.

Addressing Stigma and Resistance

Some couples resist premarital counseling because they worry it suggests their relationship is troubled or weak. In reality, the opposite is true—choosing premarital counseling demonstrates maturity, commitment, and wisdom. The strongest couples are those who actively invest in their relationship's health rather than assuming love alone will be sufficient.

Others worry that premarital counseling might reveal incompatibilities that threaten their engagement. While counseling sometimes does uncover significant differences, it's far better to address these issues before marriage than to discover them afterward. Most differences can be successfully navigated with good communication and compromise.

Making the Investment

Premarital counseling typically involves 6-12 sessions, making it a relatively small time investment compared to the years of marriage it can strengthen. When compared to the emotional and financial costs of divorce or ongoing marital conflict, premarital counseling represents one of the best investments couples can make in their future happiness.

The skills, insights, and foundation you build through premarital counseling will serve your relationship for decades to come, helping you create the kind of marriage you both dream of having.

Thrive Counseling Kirkland has therapists that specialize in helping couples build strong foundations for lasting marriages. We understand that every relationship is unique and tailor our premarital counseling approach to address your specific needs, concerns, and goals. Investing in your relationship's future starts with a single conversation—we're here to support you in creating the marriage you both deserve.

When Family Get-Togethers Bring Dread

Summer brings barbecues, vacations, and the inevitable family gatherings that many people dread more than anticipate. While social media portrays family reunions as joyful occasions filled with laughter and connection, the reality for many trauma survivors is far more complex. If you find yourself anxious about upcoming family events or struggling to recover after spending time with certain relatives, you're not alone—and your feelings are completely valid.

Family gatherings can be particularly challenging for those with trauma histories because families are often where our earliest wounds were formed. Understanding why these events feel so difficult and developing strategies to protect your mental health can help you navigate summer family obligations without sacrificing your well-being.

Why Family Gatherings Trigger Trauma Responses

Family systems often operate with unspoken rules, established power dynamics, and ingrained patterns that may have enabled or ignored past trauma. When you return to these environments, your nervous system can react as if you're stepping back into the original traumatic situation, even if the current gathering seems harmless on the surface.

These responses aren't dramatic overreactions—they're your body's intelligent protective mechanisms recognizing familiar danger signals. The uncle who minimized your childhood experiences, the parent who still uses guilt and manipulation tactics, or the sibling who refuses to acknowledge family dysfunction can all trigger fight-or-flight responses that leave you feeling overwhelmed and exhausted.

Additionally, family gatherings often involve pressure to maintain the family's public image. You may feel obligated to pretend everything is fine, hug people who hurt you, or participate in conversations that invalidate your experiences. This emotional labor can be particularly draining for trauma survivors who've worked hard to establish boundaries and authentic relationships in their adult lives.

Common Challenging Family Dynamics

The Minimizer: Relatives who dismiss your experiences with phrases like "that was so long ago," "you're too sensitive," or "you need to just get over it." These responses can trigger shame and self-doubt about your healing journey.

The Provocateur: Family members who seem to deliberately push your buttons, bring up painful topics, or create drama. They may not understand why their behavior affects you so strongly, making you feel like the problem.

The Enabler: Relatives who maintain harmful family dynamics by making excuses for problematic behavior, pressuring you to "keep the peace," or guilt-tripping you for setting boundaries.

The Denier: Family members who refuse to acknowledge that harmful events occurred or insist that your memories are wrong. This gaslighting can be deeply destabilizing, especially if you've worked hard to trust your own experiences.

Preparing Your Mental Health Toolkit

Set Clear Boundaries Before You Go: Decide in advance what topics you won't discuss, how long you'll stay, and what behaviors you won't tolerate. Having an exit strategy reduces anxiety and gives you back some control.

Practice Grounding Techniques: Develop strategies to stay present when you feel triggered. This might include deep breathing, focusing on physical sensations like your feet on the ground, or silently naming objects you can see around you.

Prepare Standard Responses: Have ready phrases for deflecting inappropriate questions or comments. Simple responses like "I'd rather not discuss that," "That's not my experience," or "I need to step outside for a moment" can help you navigate difficult conversations.

Bring a Support Person: If possible, attend with a trusted friend or partner who understands your history and can provide emotional support or help you leave if necessary.

Plan Self-Care Recovery: Schedule downtime after family events. Plan activities that help you feel grounded and safe, whether that's a quiet evening at home, time in nature, or connecting with your chosen family.

During the Gathering: Survival Strategies

Take Regular Breaks: Step outside, go to the bathroom, or take a walk around the block. These mini-breaks can help reset your nervous system and prevent overwhelm.

Stay Connected to Your Adult Self: Remind yourself that you're no longer the vulnerable child or teenager who couldn't protect themselves. You have resources, choices, and the right to leave at any time.

Limit Alcohol: While it might seem tempting to use alcohol to cope with family stress, it can lower your defenses and make it harder to maintain boundaries or recognize when you need to leave.

Find Allies: Look for family members who are supportive or at least neutral. Having even one person who "gets it" can provide emotional refuge during difficult moments.

Trust Your Body: If you feel your heart racing, stomach churning, or muscles tensing, honor these signals. Your body is giving you important information about your safety and comfort level.

When Family Isn't Safe

Sometimes the healthiest choice is not attending family gatherings at all. You're not obligated to maintain relationships with people who consistently harm your mental health, even if they're family. The idea that "family comes first" can be particularly harmful for trauma survivors whose families were the source of their pain.

Creating boundaries around family contact doesn't make you selfish or ungrateful—it makes you self-aware and committed to your healing. Chosen family, close friends, and supportive communities can provide the love and connection that biological family may not be able to offer.

Recovering After Difficult Family Events

Even with preparation, family gatherings can be emotionally draining. It's normal to feel exhausted, triggered, or questioning your progress after spending time with difficult relatives. This doesn't mean you've regressed in your healing—it means you've survived a challenging situation.

Give yourself time to decompress. Journal about your experiences, talk with trusted friends or your therapist, and practice extra self-compassion. Notice what strategies worked well and what you might do differently next time.

Professional Support Makes a Difference

If family gatherings consistently derail your mental health or trigger intense trauma responses, working with a trauma-informed therapist can be invaluable. Therapy can help you process family-related trauma, develop stronger boundaries, and build confidence in navigating difficult relationships.

Therapy can be particularly helpful for processing painful family memories and reducing the emotional charge of family-related triggers. You don't have to suffer through another summer of family stress—professional support can help you develop the tools to protect your peace while honoring your own healing journey.

Our trauma-specialized therapists understand the unique challenges that family relationships can present for trauma survivors. We're here to support you in developing healthy boundaries, processing difficult family dynamics, and building the confidence to prioritize your mental health in all relationships.

Apathy: When you are feeling numb.

Apathy: When you are feeling numb.

You wake up in the morning and everything feels gray. Not sad, exactly—sadness would require feeling something. Instead, there's a numbness that settles over your daily routine like a heavy blanket. Activities that once brought joy now feel pointless. Goals that used to motivate you seem meaningless. You're going through the motions of life, but the spark that makes living feel worthwhile has somehow disappeared.

Why Summer is the Perfect Time to Start Therapy

Summer often brings a collective sigh of relief. School's out, vacation plans are made, and the longer days seem to promise endless possibilities. Yet for many people, summer can also bring unexpected challenges that make it an ideal time to begin or recommit to therapy. While it might seem counterintuitive to start something as intensive as therapy during what's supposed to be the "relaxed" season, summer actually offers unique advantages that can accelerate healing and personal growth.

More Flexible Scheduling Creates Consistency

One of the biggest barriers to successful therapy is inconsistent attendance. During the school year and busy fall-through-spring work cycles, schedules become packed with obligations, making it difficult to maintain regular therapy appointments. Summer's slower pace often means more flexibility in your calendar, allowing you to establish a consistent therapy routine without the stress of rearranging multiple commitments.

This consistency is crucial for therapeutic progress. Regular sessions create momentum, allowing you to build trust with your therapist and dive deeper into issues without constantly restarting conversations. When you can attend sessions without the anxiety of missing important work meetings or school events, you're more present and engaged in the therapeutic process.

Natural Transitions Provide Processing Opportunities

Summer represents a natural transition period in most people's lives. Students move between academic years, families adjust to different routines, and many professionals take time to reassess their career paths. These transitions, while often positive, can bring up underlying anxieties, unresolved traumas, or relationship dynamics that benefit from professional support.

Starting therapy during a transition period allows you to process changes with guidance rather than struggling through them alone. Whether you're dealing with empty nest syndrome as children leave for camp, navigating relationship changes during vacation time together, or simply feeling overwhelmed by the pressure to make summer "perfect," therapy provides a safe space to explore these feelings.

Increased Social Exposure Reveals Hidden Patterns

Summer's social nature can be both wonderful and revealing. Barbecues, family reunions, vacation trips, and increased social gatherings can highlight relationship patterns, family dynamics, or social anxieties that remain hidden during more isolated months. If you find yourself dreading family gatherings, feeling left out of social activities, or noticing that certain relationships consistently drain your energy, summer's social calendar provides rich material for therapeutic exploration.

These situations offer real-time examples to discuss in therapy sessions, making abstract concepts more concrete and actionable. Your therapist can help you develop coping strategies for immediate use while working on deeper underlying issues.

Seasonal Depression Isn't Just for Winter

While Seasonal Affective Disorder is commonly associated with winter months, many people experience summer depression or anxiety. The pressure to be happy and active when the weather is beautiful can actually worsen feelings of depression or inadequacy. Social media amplifies this with endless photos of perfect beach days and exciting adventures, making those struggling with mental health feel even more isolated.

Summer therapy helps normalize these experiences and provides tools for managing seasonal expectations. A therapist can help you develop realistic goals for the season and challenge the harmful belief that good weather should automatically equal good mood.

Building Skills During Lower-Stress Periods

The relatively lower stress of summer provides an excellent opportunity to build coping skills and practice new behaviors before the intensity of fall returns. Whether you're working on communication skills, anxiety management techniques, or trauma processing, having more mental and emotional bandwidth during summer months allows for deeper skill development.

Taking Advantage of Greater Availability

Many people assume therapists are less available during summer months, but the opposite is often true. While some practitioners may take vacation time, many maintain full schedules and appreciate clients who can commit to consistent attendance during typically quieter periods. This can mean shorter wait times for appointments and more flexibility in scheduling.

Summer therapy isn't about fixing yourself before returning to "real life" in the fall. Instead, it's about using a naturally slower pace to invest in your mental health, build resilience, and develop tools that will serve you year-round. When September arrives with its inevitable increased demands, you'll be better equipped to handle stress and maintain the progress you've made.

Starting therapy in summer means prioritizing your mental health when you have the time and space to truly focus on growth—a gift that will pay dividends throughout the rest of the year.

3 Signs You Might Be in a Toxic Friendship (And Not Just Having a Bad Day)

Friendships are often described as the family we choose and ideally, those relationships offer us connection, joy, and support. A good friend might cheer you on through life’s ups and downs, send funny texts when you’re low, or even (if you’re really lucky) pick you up from the airport.

But not every friendship is as nourishing as we hope. Some connections, whether gradually or from the start can leave us feeling more depleted than uplifted. So how can we tell the difference between a friendship that’s just going through a rough season and one that may be genuinely toxic?

Here are three subtle but important signs to pay attention to:

1. You Leave Hangouts Feeling Drained

One of the most common signs of a toxic friendship is how you feel afterward not just emotionally, but physically. If spending time with a friend consistently leaves you feeling tense, irritable, disappointed, or just… off, that’s worth exploring.

Sometimes our bodies pick up on discomfort before our minds catch up. You might sense that something isn’t quite right even if you can’t pinpoint exactly what. That vague unease? It matters. When we consistently feel emotionally depleted after seeing someone, it’s often a sign that the relationship may not be healthy for us.

A helpful question to ask: Do I feel more energized or more exhausted after spending time with this person?

2. The Conversation Always Circles Back to Them

It’s natural for a friend to sometimes need extra attention. They could be experiencing grief, super stressed,  or gone on a series of bad hinge dates. We show up for each other in different seasons. But in a toxic dynamic, the imbalance doesn’t go away. You may notice that the focus is always on them. No matter the topic, they find a way to center themselves.

This kind of one-sided connection can leave you feeling unseen or emotionally neglected. You might walk away from conversations wondering, Did they even ask how I’m doing?

Healthy friendships are mutual. It’s okay to need support and it’s also okay to expect it in return.

3. You Feel Judged, Not Supported

Friends can be brutally honest with us; which is why we often love and hate their advice. True friends can be honest with us, even when it’s hard to hear but there’s a difference between honesty and criticism. Toxic friends often mask judgment as “just being real.” You might notice they regularly put down your choices, compare themselves to you, or criticize things that are important to you like, your clothes, your goals, even your other relationships.

Over time, this can chip away at your self-esteem. You may start feeling smaller around them, more self-conscious, or like you have to shrink parts of yourself to keep the peace.

If being around someone consistently makes you question your worth, that’s a relationship worth re-evaluating.

Moving Forward with Compassion

Friendships are meant to support our growth, not hinder it. And yet, it’s not uncommon for a friendship to start out feeling good and gradually shift into something more draining or hurtful.

Recognizing that a friendship may no longer be healthy is a brave and caring act both for yourself and for the other person. Sometimes, walking away or creating distance is a way of honoring your own well-being.

It doesn’t have to be dramatic or angry. It can simply be a quiet, intentional choice to prioritize peace, authenticity, and mutual respect in your relationships.

You deserve to feel safe, seen, and supported in your friendships. Reassessing who you allow into your emotional space isn’t selfish, it's self-care.

You do not have to navigate this alone, reach out today and we are here to help.





What is IFS (Internal Family Systems) therapy? Would I benefit?

What is IFS (Internal Family Systems) Therapy and would I benefit?

Developed in the 1980’s by Dr. Richard Schwartz, Internal Family Systems (IFS) has helped many people transform and integrate all their different parts. At its core, IFS is based on the premise that our minds are made up of multiple "parts," each representing different thoughts, feelings, and behaviors, much like a family. These parts can influence our actions and perceptions in profound ways, and understanding and harmonizing them can lead to healing and personal growth. Part of the beauty of the way in which IFS works is that it utilizes that you already have what you need for healing. 

Key Concepts of IFS Therapy:

The central tenet of IFS is the idea that our psyche is composed of various "parts" or sub-personalities. Each part has its own perspective, memories, and roles. Common types of parts include:

  • Managers: These are protective parts that try to maintain control over how we feel and behave. They often deal with daily stresses and try to prevent pain. They can include perfectionism, caretaking, people-pleasing, overthinking, and self-criticism. 

  • Firefighters: When emotional pain arises, these reactive parts intervene, often through impulsive or harmful behaviors (e.g., substance use, binge eating) to extinguish the distress.

  • Exiles: These parts typically carry the pain of past traumas or negative experiences. Exiles show themselves through shame, painful memories, unmet needs, hurts and isolation. They are often buried or suppressed to shield the individual from their emotional turmoil.

IFS provides language and compassion to begin to engage the different parts of us that have been developed over time to help us survive. When we have compassion to the parts of us that have been working hard to protect us, we find that those parts soften and we begin to become more aligned to who we are and less reactive. We become empowered in our lives.

Self:

In addition to the various parts, IFS posits the existence of a core Self, characterized by qualities such as curiosity, calmness, confidence, compassion, courage, creativity, connection, and clarity. The Self is viewed as the guiding force that can lead to healing by fostering connection and understanding among the parts.

Internal System:

The unique configuration of parts and the Self forms an individual’s internal system. In a healthy system, the Self leads and helps balance the roles of each part. However, when parts are overwhelmed by experiences or trauma, the system may become chaotic, leading to internal conflicts and emotional distress.

Would I benefit from IFS?

Enhanced Self-Understanding:
IFS facilitates deep self-exploration and insight, helping individuals understand the root causes of their behaviors and emotional responses.

Reduction of Internal Conflict:
By fostering dialogue among parts and promoting self-leadership, IFS can help reduce internal conflicts that contribute to anxiety, depression, and other mental health issues.

Improved Emotional Regulation:
As individuals develop a compassionate relationship with their parts, they often experience greater emotional regulation, allowing for healthier coping mechanisms.

Healing from Trauma:
IFS is particularly effective for those who have experienced trauma, as it allows individuals to address and heal the exiled parts without becoming overwhelmed by their pain.


IFS therapy is a powerful approach that recognizes the complexity of who we are and how we ended up where we are currently at. By viewing internal experiences through the lens of family systems, individuals can gain clarity, develop compassion for themselves, and cultivate healing. Whether one is struggling with anxiety, depression, trauma, or simply seeking personal growth, IFS offers a unique and transformative path towards understanding and integration. When we can work with our system, pay attention to what our bodies are telling us and offer compassionate listening we begin to heal. Our triggers become quieter and we gain the capacity to be still. When we are working with our body versus against it, we begin to have more freedom and more wholeness. 

If you are finding yourself stuck in a similar pattern either with yourself or in your relationships, please know that you do not have to remain stuck. We would love to work with you to help you befriend yourself and all the different parts that have helped you get to today. 

How to Address Incidents of Sexual Predatory Behavior With Children

How to Address Incidents of Sexual Predatory Behavior With Children

Discussing incidents of sexual predatory behavior with our kids is a tough conversation to

have. It becomes even tougher when the incident occurs at a local community school and

is perpetrated by a teacher or faculty member that is highly regarded by both parents and

students. In these cases, the conversation needs to go beyond discussing the actual

incident itself and needs to include issues of betrayal, loss, and trust.

The Intersection of Breathwork and Therapy

Whether you would like to build a shorter, daily breathing practice or take a deep dive into your healing through a transformational breath session, coming into relationship with your breath will radically enhance your life. Your breath is your first alert system. When we are stressed, our breath becomes more shallow. When we are relaxed our breath deepens. If you watch it closely, you will see that your breath is always giving you a message about how you are feeling and what you are experiencing.

By coming to know your breath, you can observe how it responds to thoughts, emotions, and stimulus from both your inner + outer environments.

By understanding the basics of how to work with your breath, you can learn ways to use it to become unstuck and to create more flow in your life. Harnessing the power of your breath, you will see deeper therapeutic work. Some of the benefits of pairing nervous system regulation with therapy are: 

  • Regulation of Emotions: Breathwork techniques can help individuals regulate their emotions, making it easier to engage in discussions during therapy. By calming the nervous system, clients may feel more grounded and open to exploring difficult topics.

  • Increased Mindfulness: Breathwork promotes mindfulness, allowing clients to become more present in the moment. This heightened awareness can enhance the therapeutic process, as clients may be better able to identify and articulate their thoughts and feelings. When we are mindful and embodied we are able to put into words our felt experiences. 

  • Stress Reduction: Engaging in breathwork can reduce stress and anxiety, which may create a more conducive environment for therapy. When clients are less anxious, they may find it easier to communicate and process their experiences. Often times in therapy we get blocked from pursuing deeper healing because our breathing hijacks our system. If we learn to breath in a way that is healing to our body, we will experience less stress in recalling stressful events and stories. 

  • Accessing Deeper States of Consciousness: Breathwork can facilitate access to deeper emotional states, helping clients uncover underlying issues that may not surface through talk alone. This can lead to more profound insights and breakthroughs during therapy sessions.

  • Physical Connection: Breathwork emphasizes the connection between the mind and body. By incorporating breath awareness, clients can become more attuned to physical sensations and how they relate to their emotional experiences, enriching the therapeutic dialogue.

Integrating breathwork into talk therapy can enhance the effectiveness of the therapeutic process by fostering emotional regulation, mindfulness, and deeper self-exploration. 

If you are finding yourself in a plateau in your therapy or are wanting to facilitate movement towards deeper healing, schedule with Sabrina Joy, our Nervous System Regulation Specialist. Working with Sabrina will help you get connected to your body, manage your stress and emotions with greater ease and promote more healing and more freedom in your life. 



Fall Reflections

As the leaves begin to change and the air turns crisp, fall presents a perfect opportunity for reflection and reassessment. Living in rhythm with the changing season helps provide us with a great opportunity to reflect and adjust. By this time of year, many of us have set New Year’s resolutions, filled with hope and ambition. However, as the months have passed, it’s easy to lose sight of those goals amidst the hustle and bustle of daily life. Now is the time to check in on those aspirations and make any necessary adjustments to ensure we stay on track for personal growth and fulfillment.

Checking in on your New Year’s goals in the fall serves several important purposes:

1. Reflection: It allows you to reflect on your journey thus far. What progress have you made? What challenges have you encountered? Reflecting on these questions can provide valuable insights into your motivations and the effectiveness of your strategies.

2. Reevaluation: Life is dynamic, and so are our goals. What seemed important in January may no longer resonate with you. This is a chance to reevaluate your goals and determine if they still align with your current values and circumstances.

3. Motivation: A three-quarter year check-in can reignite your motivation. Celebrating small victories can boost your confidence and encourage you to push forward, while acknowledging setbacks can help you develop resilience.


Here are some steps to guide you through your fall check-in:

1. Review Your Goals: Take a moment to revisit the goals you set at the beginning of the year. Write them down and assess your progress. Are you on track? Have you achieved any milestones? Do you need to release yourself from a goal that is no longer important to you? Where do you need to celebrate? How are you proud of yourself?

2. Identify Obstacles: Consider any obstacles that may have hindered your progress. Were they external factors, or did internal barriers such as fear or self-doubt play a role? Looking at the obstacles through the lens of kindness towards ourselves is important. Our instinct is to condemn ourselves and feel like a failure. Condemning ourselves does not produce change. How can you be kind towards yourself with the obstacles you have faced. 

3. Celebrate Achievements: No matter how small, celebrate your achievements. Recognizing your progress can boost your morale and motivate you to continue working toward your goals. You have walked 9 months of this year. You have traversed paths you did not know were coming when you made goals in January. Celebrate your perseverance, what you have learned, where you are now. 

4. Adjust as Needed: If you find that some goals no longer resonate with you, it’s perfectly okay to adjust them. Set new, more relevant goals that align with your current life situation and aspirations.

5. Create an Action Plan: For the goals you wish to pursue, create a clear action plan. Break down your goals into smaller, manageable steps, and set deadlines to keep yourself accountable. Reverse engineer where you want to be. Start at the finish line and walk backwards. What steps do you need to take? 

6. Seek Support: Don’t hesitate to reach out for support. Whether it’s friends, family, or a counselor, sharing your goals and challenges can provide encouragement and accountability. Who do you need to loop in to help you? We are not made to live our life in a vacuum, we are community dependent. 

As we transition into the final months of the year, remember that it’s never too late to make progress toward your goals. Fall is a season of change and transformation, making it an ideal time to realign your focus and intentions. Embrace this opportunity to check in on your New Year’s resolutions, celebrate your journey, and set yourself up for success as you move into the new year.

The fall check-in is not just about assessing what you’ve accomplished; it’s about understanding yourself better and fostering a growth mindset. By taking the time to reflect, reevaluate, and adjust, you can ensure that your goals continue to serve you and lead you further along on your journey. 

Happy reflecting!

Does Breathwork Really Work?

By sabrina joy, nervous system regulation specialist


Breathwork may be a modern term that is rising in popularity, but the practices that comprise what we think of as "breathwork" are anything but new. Different forms of modulated, adjusted or trained breathing are gaining widespread attention as science begins to prove what ancient practices have known for ages; how you breathe can change your life. Modern science is just beginning to understand the breath's potential to calm the mind, improve physical health, and promote emotional healing. But what exactly is breathwork, and how does it work?

What is Breathwork?

At its core, breathwork refers to various techniques and practices that involve consciously controlling the breath. While breathing is something we do naturally, most of us do so unconsciously. Breathwork is essentially intentional breathing to activate different physiological and psychological reactions within the body.

The Origins of Breathwork

The practice of using breath as a tool for healing and transformation has roots in ancient traditions. In yoga, Pranayama (the art of breath control) has been practiced for thousands of years to balance the mind and body. Eastern practices like Tai Chi and Qigong also emphasize breath as a means to cultivate energy (or "qi") and improve overall vitality.

In more recent times, breathwork has evolved through modern modalities, such as Holotropic Breathwork, developed by psychiatrist Stanislav Grof in the 1970s, and the Buteyko method, developed by Russian physiologist Dr. Konstantin Buteyko in the 1950s.

The Science Behind Breathwork

Breathwork is more than just a mindfulness practice—it has a profound impact on the body’s physiology. The way we breathe can impact our blood CO2 and O2 levels, thus influencing our blood pH and impacting virtually every function of the body. The average person takes around 20,000 breaths every day and with each breath we activate different functions of our Autonomic Nervous System (ANS), regulate our blood pH, partake in a complex chemical process of respiration and directly impact the functions of all major organs.

Modern science is increasingly interested in proving via the scientific method what Pranayama practitioners have known for centuries. In a similar way to how modern psychotherapy is recognizing the benefits of age-old meditation techniques; health professionals across various fields are understanding the profound impact of our breath on our bodies and minds.

A systemic review of the literature regarding psycho-physiological correlates of slow breathing published in 2018 explained:

" Slow breathing techniques promote autonomic changes increasing Heart Rate Variability and Respiratory Sinus Arrhythmia paralleled by Central Nervous System (CNS) activity modifications. EEG studies show an increase in alpha and a decrease in theta power. Anatomically, the only available fMRI study highlights increased activity in cortical (e.g., prefrontal, motor, and parietal cortices) and subcortical (e.g., pons, thalamus, sub-parabrachial nucleus, periaqueductal gray, and hypothalamus) structures. Psychological/behavioral outputs related to the above mentioned changes are increased comfort, relaxation, pleasantness, vigor and alertness, and reduced symptoms of arousal, anxiety, depression, anger, and confusion."

Hundreds of studies in the last several decades are making it clear that the way we breathe can impact our mood, ability to focus, and perceived level of stress. Scientists can now clearly identify how different forms of dysfunctional breathing such as shallow breathing, mouth breathing and rapid breathing can negatively impact our health and cause chronic symptoms of dysregulation in the body.

How to Get Started with Breathwork

The beautiful thing about breathwork is that you don’t need any special equipment or prior experience to start practicing. However, working with a trained breathwork therapist, yoga therapist or breathing specialist (especially for more involved methods such as Buteyko or Holotropic) is important. These specialists are trained in the science and methodologies of breathing and should know how to keep their clients safe.

Breathwork offers a transformative way to reconnect with yourself, reduce stress, and enhance your well-being. The power of the breath is always within reach—just one conscious exhale away from helping you find balance in a busy world.

If you find yourself experiencing anxiety, insomnia, not taking full breaths reach out today. Sabrina Joy is available to work with you to become more embodied and experience more rest and peace in your life.

Summer Growth Mindset

Embracing Growth: The Benefits of Starting Therapy During Summer

As the warm summer months approach, many of us find ourselves seeking relaxation, adventure, and a break from our daily routines. Particularly for us in the Pacific Northwest where we are extra grateful for sun and a break in the rain. However, summer can also be an ideal time to prioritize our mental health and well-being by starting therapy. While the idea of beginning therapy may seem daunting, especially during a season typically associated with carefree vibes, the benefits of seeking support during the summer months can be truly transformative.

Time for Self-Reflection: Summer often brings a slower pace and a break from the hustle and bustle of everyday life. This can provide an opportunity for self-reflection and introspection, allowing individuals to explore their thoughts, emotions, and behaviors in a more relaxed setting. For many the slower pace of summer brings up issues that are easier pushed aside during busier times with more distractions. Starting therapy during this time can help individuals gain a deeper understanding of themselves and their needs.

Increased Availability: With many people taking vacations or enjoying more flexible schedules during the summer, therapists may have more availability for new clients. This can make it easier to find a therapist who is the right fit for you and to schedule regular sessions without as many time constraints.

Coping with Seasonal Changes: For some individuals, the summer months can bring about feelings of loneliness, anxiety, or depression. Starting therapy during this time can provide valuable support in navigating these emotions and developing healthy coping mechanisms. A therapist can help individuals explore the root causes of their struggles and work towards building resilience and emotional well-being.

Setting Positive Intentions: Summer is the midpoint of the year. New Year's resolutions have mostly been forgotten. Summer is a great time to set a new goal, or revisit forgotten goals. The start of summer can symbolize a fresh beginning and a time to set positive intentions for personal growth. By beginning therapy during this season, individuals can embark on a journey of self-discovery and healing, laying the foundation for positive changes and personal transformation.

Building Resilience for the Future: Therapy is a powerful tool for building resilience and developing healthy coping strategies that can benefit individuals long after the summer months have passed. By starting therapy during the summer, individuals can equip themselves with the skills and insights needed to navigate life's challenges with greater ease and self-awareness.

Starting therapy during the summer can be a valuable investment in your mental health and overall well-being. Whether you are seeking support for specific issues or simply looking to enhance your self-awareness and personal growth, therapy can provide a safe and supportive space for exploration and healing. Embrace the opportunity to prioritize your mental health this summer and take the first step towards a brighter, more fulfilling future.

We have current openings for children, adolescents, adults and couples.

ADHD and Poor Sleep: Understanding the Connection and Finding Solutions

ADHD and Poor Sleep: Understanding the Connection and Finding Solutions

BY Matthew hesselgrave adhd/bipolar coach

Attention-Deficit/Hyperactivity Disorder (ADHD) is a common neurodevelopmental disorder characterized by persistent patterns of inattention, hyperactivity, and impulsivity. While these core symptoms are widely recognized, a significant yet often overlooked aspect of ADHD is the prevalence of sleep disturbances. Individuals with ADHD frequently experience difficulties in initiating and maintaining sleep, which can exacerbate their symptoms and negatively impact their overall quality of life. This blog explores the intricate relationship between ADHD and poor sleep, examining potential causes, effects, and strategies for improvement.

The Prevalence of Sleep Problems in ADHD

Research indicates that sleep disturbances are prevalent among individuals with ADHD. Studies have shown that up to 70% of children and adults with ADHD report significant sleep problems, compared to 30% in the general population. These sleep issues can manifest in various forms, including:

*Difficulty Falling Asleep: Many individuals with ADHD have trouble winding down and transitioning to sleep, often lying awake for extended periods.

*Restless Sleep: Frequent awakenings during the night and restless movements can disrupt the sleep cycle.

*Difficulty Waking Up: Morning grogginess and prolonged sleep inertia are common, making it challenging to wake up and start the day.

*Daytime Sleepiness: Despite sleeping for a sufficient number of hours, poor sleep quality can lead to excessive daytime sleepiness and fatigue.





Neurobiological and Behavioral Factors

The underlying causes of sleep disturbances in ADHD are multifaceted, involving neurobiological, behavioral, and environmental factors.

*Neurobiological Factors: ADHD is associated with dysregulation of neurotransmitters such as dopamine and norepinephrine, which play crucial roles in both attention and sleep-wake regulation. These neurochemical imbalances can disrupt the natural circadian rhythms, leading to irregular sleep patterns. Additionally, ADHD is linked to structural and functional abnormalities in brain regions involved in sleep regulation, such as the prefrontal cortex and the hypothalamus.

*Behavioral Factors: Hyperactivity and impulsivity, core features of ADHD, can interfere with the ability to establish and adhere to a consistent sleep routine. Individuals with ADHD may engage in stimulating activities late into the evening, resist bedtime routines, and experience heightened arousal that makes it difficult to relax and fall asleep.

*Medication Effects: Stimulant medications, commonly prescribed to manage ADHD symptoms, can also impact sleep. While these medications improve attention and reduce hyperactivity during the day, they can interfere with sleep onset and quality if taken too late in the afternoon or evening. Non-stimulant medications, such as atomoxetine, may also have side effects that affect sleep, though these effects are generally less pronounced.

*Comorbid Conditions: ADHD often coexists with other conditions that can further impact sleep. Anxiety, depression, and mood disorders, which are common among individuals with ADHD, can contribute to insomnia and other sleep disturbances. Additionally, sleep disorders such as restless legs syndrome and obstructive sleep apnea are more prevalent in the ADHD population, further complicating the sleep landscape.

The Impact of Poor Sleep on ADHD Symptoms

The relationship between ADHD and poor sleep is bidirectional; not only does ADHD contribute to sleep problems, but insufficient or poor-quality sleep can exacerbate ADHD symptoms, creating a vicious cycle.

*Cognitive Impairments: Sleep deprivation can impair cognitive functions that are already compromised in ADHD, such as working memory, attention, and executive function. This can lead to increased forgetfulness, difficulty focusing, and problems with planning and organization.

*Emotional Dysregulation: Lack of sleep can heighten emotional sensitivity and reduce the ability to regulate emotions effectively. Individuals with ADHD may experience increased irritability, frustration, and mood swings, which can strain relationships and social interactions.

*Behavioral Issues: Poor sleep can intensify hyperactive and impulsive behaviors, making it harder to control impulses and maintain appropriate behavior in social and academic settings. This can lead to disciplinary problems and further challenges in managing ADHD symptoms.

*Physical Health Consequences: Chronic sleep deprivation is associated with a range of physical health issues, including weakened immune function, obesity, and cardiovascular problems. For individuals with ADHD, these health risks can compound the difficulties they already face.

*Overall Quality of Life: The combined effects of ADHD and poor sleep can significantly impact the overall quality of life, affecting academic and occupational performance, social relationships, and mental and physical well-being.






Strategies for Improving Sleep in Individuals with ADHD

Given the profound impact of sleep on ADHD symptoms and overall functioning, addressing sleep disturbances is crucial. Here are several strategies that can help improve sleep quality in individuals with ADHD:

*Establishing a Consistent Sleep Routine: Maintaining regular sleep and wake times, even on weekends, can help regulate the body's internal clock. A consistent routine signals to the brain when it is time to wind down and prepare for sleep.

*Creating a Sleep-Conducive Environment: Ensuring the sleep environment is cool, dark, and quiet can promote better sleep. Using blackout curtains, white noise machines, or earplugs can help minimize disruptions. Investing in a comfortable mattress and pillows can also make a significant difference.

*Limiting Stimulant Intake: Avoiding caffeine and other stimulants, particularly in the afternoon and evening, can help prevent interference with sleep onset. For those taking stimulant medications for ADHD, timing the doses appropriately and consulting with a healthcare provider can help minimize sleep disruptions.

*Implementing Relaxation Techniques: Encouraging practices such as reading a book, taking a warm bath, or practicing mindfulness or relaxation exercises before bed can help calm the mind and prepare the body for sleep. Deep breathing exercises and progressive muscle relaxation can also be effective.

*Reducing Screen Time: Limiting exposure to screens (phones, tablets, computers, TVs) at least an hour before bedtime is crucial, as the blue light emitted by screens can disrupt melatonin production and delay sleep onset. Establishing a technology-free wind-down period can promote better sleep.

*Behavioral Interventions: Cognitive-behavioral therapy for insomnia (CBT-I) can be effective in addressing sleep problems, teaching strategies to improve sleep hygiene and manage thoughts and behaviors that interfere with sleep. Behavioral interventions that focus on establishing positive sleep associations and routines can also be beneficial.

*Consulting a Specialist: If sleep problems persist, consulting a healthcare provider or sleep specialist for further evaluation and treatment is essential. Conditions such as sleep apnea or restless legs syndrome may require specific interventions, such as continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) therapy or medication.

*Parental and Teacher Support: For children with ADHD, support from parents and teachers is crucial in establishing and maintaining healthy sleep habits. Consistent structure, positive reinforcement, and clear expectations can help children adhere to bedtime routines and improve sleep quality.

*Medication Adjustments: In some cases, adjusting the timing or dosage of ADHD medications can help minimize their impact on sleep. Healthcare providers may also consider non-stimulant medications or adjunctive treatments that have a lower risk of interfering with sleep.

The complex relationship between ADHD and poor sleep highlights the importance of addressing sleep disturbances as part of a comprehensive approach to managing ADHD. By understanding the underlying causes and implementing targeted strategies to improve sleep, individuals with ADHD can experience significant improvements in their symptoms, cognitive functioning, emotional regulation, and overall quality of life. Whether through behavioral interventions, environmental modifications, or medical treatments, prioritizing healthy sleep habits is essential for optimizing the well-being of those with ADHD.

You do not have to navigate all of these complexities alone, our ADHD coach is here to help.

Summer is a great time for kids to go to therapy.

Summer is what most children look forward to at the end of each school year. Summer brings with it less demands and more freetime. Starting or continuing therapy in the summer is important because your child is not carrying as many responsibilities and they have more space to process and heal. Summer also brings its own set of challenges that are often hidden due to the schedules of the school year. Summer therapy is important for children as it provides a consistent source of support and care during a time of transition and potential stress. The break from school routines and structure can impact children's mental well-being, making therapy sessions essential for maintaining stability and addressing any challenges that may arise. Summer therapy also offers a valuable opportunity for children to build coping skills, explore interests, and strengthen their resilience in a supportive environment. By engaging in therapy during the summer months, children can enhance their emotional well-being, prevent regression in mental health, and develop the tools needed to navigate transitions and stressors effectively.

1. Consistency: Summer break can disrupt the routine and structure that children may have during the school year. Therapy sessions during the summer can help maintain consistency in their mental health care. Summer also provides the opportunity for children to not be pulled in as many directions (school, sports, drama, etc)

2. Transition support: For children transitioning to a new school, grade, or environment in the upcoming academic year, therapy can provide support and coping strategies to navigate these changes effectively.

3. Addressing summer stressors: Summer can bring its own set of stressors for children, such as boredom, social isolation, or family dynamics. Therapy can help children process and manage these stressors in a healthy way.

4. Building coping skills: Therapy in the summer can focus on building coping skills and resilience in children, which can benefit them throughout the year in managing challenges and setbacks.

5. Preventing summer slide: Just as academic skills can regress over the summer, so too can mental health. Therapy can help prevent a decline in mental well-being during the break.

6. Exploring interests and hobbies: Summer is a great time for children to explore new interests and hobbies. Therapy can help children discover and develop their passions, boosting their self-esteem and overall well-being.

7. Family support: Summer can be a time for increased family togetherness, which can sometimes lead to conflicts or tensions. Therapy can provide a safe space for children to express their feelings and work through family dynamics.

Therapy in the summer for children is important for maintaining mental health, building coping skills, and supporting children through transitions and stressors. It can be a valuable resource for children to thrive emotionally and psychologically during the summer break. The summer opportunity for growth and healing will carry children through to having a different and potentially more positive experience when school resumes in the fall. Utilizing the summer schedule to build in different habits, create new healing pathways and increased resilience is a path that will reap many benefits for the trajectory of the child.