How your body tells the story of you.
By Lindsay Deiley MA, LMHCA
We’ve all been there right? Driving down the highway, listening to music, when a song pops on that—bam!—takes you back to a specific moment in time. The present seems to fade, and your body responds to a specific memory associated with the song. If it’s a happy memory, maybe your body grows warmer and lighter. If it’s a sad memory, your eyes may begin to glisten. If it’s a scary memory, your chest may tighten. Perhaps the song evokes such an overwhelming response from your body that you need to skip to the next song or turn off the music altogether.
Here’s another example…perhaps one that too many of us are familiar with. Have you ever experienced a difficult, or even traumatic, event? Maybe you got into a car accident at that intersection where you pick up coffee on your way to work every day. Although you were not injured, your body remembers this scary experience every time you drive by that intersection. What does that “remembering” look like? Maybe it’s a heightened state of alert—paying extra attention to other cars, riding the break a little more closely. Maybe you realize you are holding your breath. Or maybe, just driving through that intersection evokes so much emotion that you begin to drive a new route to work.
How does your body remember?
Do you hold your breath? Avoid certain places? Does your heart speed up?
Our bodies remember. They are living time capsules, embodied memories of the past, sojourners through the present, and expeditioners toward the future. Not only do our bodies hold memories, but they are also speaking to us, every moment of every day. The stories of our lives are carried in our bodies, waiting to be told and longing to be heard. Can we hear what stories our bodies are telling about our lives, about our greatest hurts and greatest hopes? Do we care to listen?
Important parts of our stories often can be found by paying greater attention to the signals our body is giving us in the present. Some bodies talk louder than others; some have more to say than others. But every single body has a voice, has a story to tell. What does your body have to say?
Your body is a living time capsule.
Our stories can be carried in permanent, visible marks, as well as transient, seemingly invisible ones. Many of us have experiences that physically change us and leave scars. Maybe that scar on your lower abdomen tells something of your joy in conceiving a child, as well as your suffering and disappointment in enduring a caesarian birth. Or maybe the scar below your kneecap reveals something of your perseverance in competitive athletics, as well as the immense cost of a new ACL and months of rehabilitation. Aside from visible scars, our bodies also tell stories in ways that may be invisible to others. Maybe, after a disappointing blind date, an empty pit in your stomach drives you to the bottom of a potato chip bag. Maybe you discover yourself trembling inside after a difficult conversation with your partner. Perhaps you find yourself slamming doors harder than usual after a phone call with an invalidating parent. These bodily responses are “scars” from earlier memories that have been triggered to resurface by something similar in the present.
Unfortunately, many people are conditioned to ignore their bodies’ signals or to have contempt for them. But what if we adopted a disposition of curiosity towards these signals our bodies are trying to give us, instead of contempt? What if we thanked our bodies for trying to tell their stories and invited them to share more, instead of scolding them for speaking up? What parts of our bodies, and therefore, parts of our stories, are we dismissing?
Often, visible and invisible scars are remnants of difficult chapters in our stories that have not been cared for well. Inviting someone to come alongside us, hear our stories, and carry our burdens leads to greater integration, healing, and growth. It fosters increased compassion, attunement, and greater appreciation for our bodies. The counselors at Thrive Counseling Kirkland are dedicated to holding your embodied story with gentle compassion and walking with you on your journey of self-discovery. If you want to learn more about the story your body is trying to tell, reach out today!