Last Halloween, my neighbor Sarah told me something I wasn't expecting. She's a successful attorney, confident in court, articulate, put-together. But Halloween? She dreads it every single year. The doorbell ringing unpredictably all evening sends her into a panic. The constant interruptions, the jump scares, the expectation that she should enjoy being startled—it's overwhelming.
I hear versions of this story often in my work at Thrive Counseling Kirkland. Adults who feel embarrassed admitting that Halloween makes them anxious. People who worry they're being "dramatic" or "too sensitive" because a holiday stresses them out.
Here's what I want you to know: You're not being dramatic. Halloween anxiety in adults is more common than you might think, and there are real reasons why this particular holiday can feel so triggering.
Why Halloween Hits Different When You Have Anxiety
There's something uniquely stressful about Halloween that sets it apart from other holidays. I've had clients describe it as "sensory assault disguised as fun." Let me break down what's actually happening.
Think about it—Halloween celebrates the exact things that trigger anxiety responses: unpredictability, darkness, things jumping out at you, strangers approaching your door, loud noises. If you already live with anxiety, your nervous system is already on high alert. Halloween essentially asks you to spend an entire evening in situations designed to startle and frighten you.
The cultural expectation makes it worse. Society tells us Halloween should be fun, that being scared is enjoyable, that it's all in good fun. When your body is having a genuine fear response—racing heart, sweaty palms, that sick feeling in your stomach—being told you're supposed to enjoy it feels invalidating.
I've worked with clients who have trauma histories, and Halloween can be particularly difficult. Jump scares, people in masks hiding their identities, darkness, feeling unsafe in your own home when strangers keep approaching—these aren't small things if you've experienced trauma. Your brain is doing exactly what it's supposed to do: trying to keep you safe.
Even without trauma, the sensory overload is real. If you're someone who gets overstimulated easily, Halloween is basically worst-case scenario. Doorbells or knocking every few minutes for hours, screaming kids, flashing lights, crowds if you venture outside. There's no escape from the stimulation.
And then there's the social pressure. Maybe you have kids who want to trick-or-treat. Maybe your partner loves Halloween and you don't want to be a "killjoy." Maybe your neighborhood goes all-out and you feel obligated to participate. The expectation to perform enthusiasm when you're actually struggling creates this exhausting disconnect between what you're feeling and what you're showing others.
What Halloween Anxiety Actually Looks Like
Anxiety doesn't always announce itself clearly. Sometimes it masquerades as other things—irritability, fatigue, physical symptoms. You might not even connect what you're feeling to Halloween until you stop and think about the timing.
In the weeks leading up to Halloween, you might notice yourself getting progressively more on edge. Maybe you're snapping at your partner over small things. Maybe you're exhausted even though you're sleeping okay. Maybe your stomach has been bothering you, but your doctor can't find anything wrong.
When Halloween actually arrives, the anxiety might look like:
You find reasons to stay late at work so you're not home when trick-or-treating starts. Or you turn off all the lights and hide in a back room, even though part of you knows that seems excessive. Your heart races every time someone approaches your door. You feel this overwhelming urge to escape your own home.
Some people experience physical symptoms that feel completely disconnected from emotions. Headaches, nausea, dizziness, chest tightness. You might not even think "I'm anxious"—you might just think "I feel terrible tonight."
Others find themselves drinking more than usual to get through the evening, or taking extra anxiety medication if they have a prescription. You're just trying to make it through.
If you're in a relationship, you might find yourself picking fights on Halloween or in the days leading up to it. Sometimes anxiety expresses itself as irritability or anger because those emotions feel more controllable than fear.
The aftermath can be rough too. You might feel exhausted the next day, not just physically tired but emotionally drained. Some of my clients describe feeling embarrassed or ashamed that they "let" Halloween bother them so much.
What Actually Helps (From Someone Who's Been There)
I'm not going to tell you to "just relax" or "remember it's all fake." That's not helpful when your nervous system is in overdrive. Instead, here are strategies that my clients have found genuinely useful.
Reframe participation as optional
This might be the most important thing: You don't have to participate in Halloween. Full stop. You're an adult. You get to decide.
I know that feels radical, especially if you have kids or a partner who loves the holiday. But hear me out—your mental health matters. If Halloween genuinely causes you significant distress, you have permission to opt out or significantly modify your participation.
One of my clients turns off all the porch lights, puts a sign on the door saying "No candy tonight—sorry!", and spends the evening in her bedroom with headphones watching comfort shows. Another leaves town every Halloween weekend. These aren't cop-outs. They're self-care.
If you have kids, you can absolutely say "I'm not up for trick-or-treating this year, but here's what we can do instead." Most kids care more about getting candy and having fun than specifically going door-to-door. Do a scavenger hunt at home. Go to a trunk-or-treat during daylight hours. Let them trade you for candy the next day at the store.
Create a buffer zone
If you're staying home and handing out candy (or just existing in your house while others trick-or-treat), set up a system that reduces doorbell anxiety.
Leave a bowl of candy outside with a sign. Yes, some kids will take more than their share. That's okay—the peace of mind is worth the extra money spent on candy.
If you're giving out candy yourself, consider sitting on your porch or driveway instead of waiting for people to ring the bell. You control the interaction. You see them coming. No surprises.
Use noise-canceling headphones between groups of trick-or-treaters. Listen to music or a podcast. Take back some control over your auditory environment.
Set boundaries around time. Decide you'll hand out candy from 6-7 PM only, then turn everything off. You don't owe anyone the entire evening.
Ground yourself when panic hits
When you feel that spike of anxiety—the doorbell rings unexpectedly, someone in a scary costume appears, whatever your trigger is—you need a quick way to regulate your nervous system.
The 5-4-3-2-1 technique works well. Name 5 things you can see, 4 things you can touch, 3 things you can hear, 2 things you can smell, 1 thing you can taste. It sounds simple, maybe even silly, but it interrupts the panic response and brings you back to the present moment.
Box breathing is another good one. Breathe in for 4 counts, hold for 4, out for 4, hold for 4. Repeat. The slow exhale activates your parasympathetic nervous system—the part that calms you down.
Keep something cold nearby. Ice water, an ice pack, something cold to hold. Cold temperature actually interrupts the panic response in your body. It's not magic, it's physiology.
Use the buddy system
If you're in a relationship, talk to your partner beforehand about what you need. Maybe they handle all doorbell interactions while you stay in another room. Maybe they agreed to be your signal that it's okay to leave a social situation if you attend a Halloween party.
A friend of mine texts her sister throughout Halloween night. Just knowing someone else gets it and is available makes the evening more manageable.
If you're going to a Halloween party or event (and you want to go, not just feel obligated), bring someone who knows about your anxiety. Establish a code word for "I need to leave now." Having an exit strategy makes staying feel less claustrophobic.
Consider medication—without shame
If you have an anxiety medication prescribed for situational use, Halloween might be a perfectly appropriate time to take it. I've had clients who take nothing all year except on Halloween. There's no medal for white-knuckling through panic.
If you don't have medication but your anxiety around Halloween is severe, it might be worth talking to your doctor. Short-term solutions for specific triggers are valid.
Some people also find that CBD or other natural anxiety aids help take the edge off. Obviously check with your doctor, but you have options beyond just suffering through it.
Challenge the "should" thoughts
Pay attention to your self-talk. Are you telling yourself you "should" enjoy this, you "should" be able to handle it, you "shouldn't" let it bother you?
Those "shoulds" often make anxiety worse because now you're anxious AND you're judging yourself for being anxious. Try replacing them with reality: "Halloween triggers my anxiety. That's just a fact. It doesn't mean anything is wrong with me."
When you notice yourself thinking "I'm being ridiculous," try "I'm having a normal response to a triggering situation." When you think "Everyone else is fine, why can't I be?", try "Everyone has different triggers, and this one happens to be mine."
The self-compassion piece is huge. You wouldn't judge a friend for having anxiety about something. Extend yourself that same kindness.
When Halloween Anxiety Might Be Part of Something Bigger
For most people dealing with Halloween anxiety, it's situational. November 1st rolls around and they feel significantly better. The anxiety was real and valid, but it was specifically tied to that holiday.
But sometimes Halloween difficulties are pointing to a larger pattern of anxiety that deserves attention and support. I'm not trying to pathologize your experience—anxiety around specific triggers is normal. But it's worth checking in with yourself about whether this is part of a bigger picture.
You might benefit from talking to a therapist if:
The anxiety about Halloween starts weeks or even months in advance and dominates your thoughts. You're dreading October while it's still August. The anticipatory anxiety is almost worse than the actual night.
You notice similar patterns around other holidays or events. Maybe Thanksgiving also triggers you. Maybe New Year's Eve. Maybe any social gathering where expectations are high and control is low. If multiple situations cause similar levels of anxiety, that's information worth exploring.
You're avoiding more and more things. It started with Halloween, but now you're also avoiding neighborhoods with decorations, stores that have Halloween displays, even movies or TV shows that reference the holiday. When avoidance starts spreading, that's often a sign anxiety needs professional attention.
The anxiety is affecting your relationships. Your partner is hurt or frustrated that you can't participate. Your kids are disappointed. Friends don't understand. You find yourself isolating to avoid the judgment.
You're using substances to cope—drinking more, taking pills you shouldn't, using marijuana or other substances specifically to get through Halloween and similar situations.
You experience panic attacks that feel unmanageable. Full-blown panic—can't breathe, heart pounding, convinced something terrible is happening, completely overwhelmed. If that's your experience, you don't have to live with that level of distress.
Therapy for anxiety isn't about making you enjoy Halloween. It's about giving you tools to manage the anxiety so it doesn't control your choices and rob you of quality of life.
You're Not Wrong for Feeling This Way
I started this post by sharing about my neighbor Sarah, the attorney who dreads Halloween. You know what happened after she told me about her anxiety? I validated it. I told her that made complete sense given her background (she didn't share details, but hinted at difficult experiences). I shared that many adults struggle with this holiday.
She looked so relieved. Like she'd been waiting for permission to not be okay with Halloween, and I'd just given it to her.
So I'm giving you permission too. You're not being dramatic. You're not weak. You're not "too sensitive." Your anxiety is real, your triggers are valid, and you get to protect yourself.
Maybe that protection looks like skipping Halloween entirely. Maybe it looks like heavy modification—participating in your own way, on your terms. Maybe it looks like developing coping skills so you can participate more fully without suffering.
Whatever it looks like for you, you get to decide. And if you need support figuring out what that decision is, or developing tools to manage the anxiety, we're here.
At Thrive Counseling Kirkland, we work with adults and couples navigating all kinds of anxiety—including the kind that shows up around specific triggers like holidays. We get it. We live in the same community you do. We see the same elaborate Halloween decorations going up earlier every year. We understand the pressure to participate when everything in you wants to hide.
Your path to freedom from overwhelming anxiety might look different than someone else's. That's okay. We'll work with you to find what actually helps, not what's "supposed to" help.
If you'd like support—whether it's specifically about Halloween or about anxiety more broadly—reach out. No pressure, no judgment. Just someone who gets it, listening and offering a way forward.
You don't have to keep white-knuckling through Halloween or any other trigger. There's another way, and we can help you find it.